What the Heck is Evangelism And What Do I Do With It?
I'm going to be completely honest with you. This week was frustrating and hard for me. Evangelism is a touchy topic. Were it not for my parents and the way I grew up, I would have thrown away Christianity a while ago - if only because of the uncomfortable and pressuring influence of evangelism. Bear with me as I explain.
My parents were missionaries and I grew up on the mission field. That was my reality, and I got to see the best kind of evangelism lived out. My parents were dedicated to developing relationship, to cultivating friendships and connections. Yes, the aim was to tell people about Jesus, but no one every got thrown away because they didn't want to hear about Christianity or forgotten simply for the fact of not accepting our beliefs. They lived Christ, to the best of their ability. So we gave people food and listening ears and new friendships and hoped to plant seeds of who Christ was and what he had done for them. That's all.
In the end Christianity is as simple and as complicated as that. It is relationship. As any relationship is fraught with struggles, ups and downs, so the walk with God is not always easy, not always a "feeling" that God is present and close. But the belief that Jesus Christ, God Himself, came down as a man to take on our hearts, - fight against the ugliness inside us that even our best efforts can't escape - died on a cross, and rose again is the Good News. That kindness, that grace (which is SUCH A BIG CONCEPT YOU HAVE NO IDEA) is what we respond to, is what calls us to turn away from our old selves. Just as we become more like our friends, mimicking speech patterns and behaviors the longer we know them, so it should be with God. Knowing God is to become more like God. And becoming more like Christ is the aim of Christianity.
Simple? Yes and no. I could go on. But evangelism has always been a difficult concept for me. I'm not naturally drawn to strike up conversations with strangers, don't want to assault people on the streets and pester them saying "Do you know Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior Amen!!!" I don't want to be "that Christian." Everyone in the WORLD hates that kind of Christian.
In fact, that very fear almost kept me from coming here to YWAM. Kept me justifying to my non-Christian friends that by choosing the compassion "in action" tract, I wasn't going to be witnessing to people on the streets. "It's not like that," I said. "I'm not going to be doing that kind of thing." Wrong again. Funny how God does that.
It's not about being "that Christian" though. I'm still not the kind of person to talk to strangers. But I'm a pro at kids and love kids ministry. I excel at leadership and organizing groups. I can speak Spanish and translate for someone else who wants to share. My way of evangelizing is not the same as Kyle's, not the same as Marie's, not the same as Debbie's, etc. And that's okay! But I hadn't realized how much crap I had bought from society about "Christians" and "evangelism." I hadn't realized how much my hurtful experiences with Christian groups in college had affected me.
When I was in college, at WWU, I started attending a Christian group that was committed to discipleship. Not a bad thing! In fact, many of the questions they asked have led me to where I am now. I consider discipleship to be an important part of my walk. But, for better or for worse, they equated discipleship with non-stop evangelism. The girls would always ask me, "So did you invite someone to church today? Do you want to come with me to talk to people on the Comm lawn about Jesus?" NO! No I did not! That's about the last thing I wanted to be doing!
This pressure to evangelize really hurt me. These people made it seem like, if I wasn't talking about Jesus to people, that my salvation was at risk. That I wasn't saved, wasn't a "true disciple" if I couldn't bring myself to do this kind of work. It was horrifying and truly one of the worst experiences of my life. I cried, thinking for some reason I couldn't be saved, couldn't be Christian if this is what Jesus called me to. My fears about evangelism only increased.
So I come here. I'm here at YWAM. The epitome of evangelism. But this evangelism doesn't look like theirs, and reminds me so much of my parents' heart during their missionary work. Of course God doesn't require me to evangelize in order to be saved! What kind of joke is that!? Of course God wants me to share him, but that doesn't mean confronting people with Christianity, nor will it always look like approaching strangers to ask them if they know Christ. No. God knows my strengths, has crafted me exactly as I am. He knows how to use me best.
Thursday, my outreach group went to a local orphanage that functions dually as a daycare. It's heartbreaking, the number of kids that are there. Each one is so unique with a personality to match. The boy who kept running over our feet with his little car and bit James on the finger. The two little boys who asked if they could paint my face. The little girl who asked again and again to play horsey, insisting that she could keep herself on when you reared up and neighed. The girl who would look to you for approval each time she jumped from the plastic slide. The same girl I held as she cried over a fall gone wrong. These children who broke my heart saying, "Don't go! Don't go! Stay!"
I may not be talented with strangers. I might not be the kind of person who could strike up conversation randomly and lead someone to Jesus. I don't think that's my calling, my gifting. I think my heart is for children. I think my heart is for those who are broken. My heart is for those like Jorge, who came for a cup of soup on Tuesday and really just needed someone to listen and sympathize with his life story - how his parents beat him, his brothers rejected him, he never had a family to call his own. This is the kind of ministry I can do. This is the kind of evangelism I can do. This is the kind of life I can live. Jesus Christ through me, reaching out to others.
My parents were missionaries and I grew up on the mission field. That was my reality, and I got to see the best kind of evangelism lived out. My parents were dedicated to developing relationship, to cultivating friendships and connections. Yes, the aim was to tell people about Jesus, but no one every got thrown away because they didn't want to hear about Christianity or forgotten simply for the fact of not accepting our beliefs. They lived Christ, to the best of their ability. So we gave people food and listening ears and new friendships and hoped to plant seeds of who Christ was and what he had done for them. That's all.
In the end Christianity is as simple and as complicated as that. It is relationship. As any relationship is fraught with struggles, ups and downs, so the walk with God is not always easy, not always a "feeling" that God is present and close. But the belief that Jesus Christ, God Himself, came down as a man to take on our hearts, - fight against the ugliness inside us that even our best efforts can't escape - died on a cross, and rose again is the Good News. That kindness, that grace (which is SUCH A BIG CONCEPT YOU HAVE NO IDEA) is what we respond to, is what calls us to turn away from our old selves. Just as we become more like our friends, mimicking speech patterns and behaviors the longer we know them, so it should be with God. Knowing God is to become more like God. And becoming more like Christ is the aim of Christianity.
Simple? Yes and no. I could go on. But evangelism has always been a difficult concept for me. I'm not naturally drawn to strike up conversations with strangers, don't want to assault people on the streets and pester them saying "Do you know Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior Amen!!!" I don't want to be "that Christian." Everyone in the WORLD hates that kind of Christian.
In fact, that very fear almost kept me from coming here to YWAM. Kept me justifying to my non-Christian friends that by choosing the compassion "in action" tract, I wasn't going to be witnessing to people on the streets. "It's not like that," I said. "I'm not going to be doing that kind of thing." Wrong again. Funny how God does that.
It's not about being "that Christian" though. I'm still not the kind of person to talk to strangers. But I'm a pro at kids and love kids ministry. I excel at leadership and organizing groups. I can speak Spanish and translate for someone else who wants to share. My way of evangelizing is not the same as Kyle's, not the same as Marie's, not the same as Debbie's, etc. And that's okay! But I hadn't realized how much crap I had bought from society about "Christians" and "evangelism." I hadn't realized how much my hurtful experiences with Christian groups in college had affected me.
When I was in college, at WWU, I started attending a Christian group that was committed to discipleship. Not a bad thing! In fact, many of the questions they asked have led me to where I am now. I consider discipleship to be an important part of my walk. But, for better or for worse, they equated discipleship with non-stop evangelism. The girls would always ask me, "So did you invite someone to church today? Do you want to come with me to talk to people on the Comm lawn about Jesus?" NO! No I did not! That's about the last thing I wanted to be doing!
This pressure to evangelize really hurt me. These people made it seem like, if I wasn't talking about Jesus to people, that my salvation was at risk. That I wasn't saved, wasn't a "true disciple" if I couldn't bring myself to do this kind of work. It was horrifying and truly one of the worst experiences of my life. I cried, thinking for some reason I couldn't be saved, couldn't be Christian if this is what Jesus called me to. My fears about evangelism only increased.
So I come here. I'm here at YWAM. The epitome of evangelism. But this evangelism doesn't look like theirs, and reminds me so much of my parents' heart during their missionary work. Of course God doesn't require me to evangelize in order to be saved! What kind of joke is that!? Of course God wants me to share him, but that doesn't mean confronting people with Christianity, nor will it always look like approaching strangers to ask them if they know Christ. No. God knows my strengths, has crafted me exactly as I am. He knows how to use me best.
Thursday, my outreach group went to a local orphanage that functions dually as a daycare. It's heartbreaking, the number of kids that are there. Each one is so unique with a personality to match. The boy who kept running over our feet with his little car and bit James on the finger. The two little boys who asked if they could paint my face. The little girl who asked again and again to play horsey, insisting that she could keep herself on when you reared up and neighed. The girl who would look to you for approval each time she jumped from the plastic slide. The same girl I held as she cried over a fall gone wrong. These children who broke my heart saying, "Don't go! Don't go! Stay!"
I may not be talented with strangers. I might not be the kind of person who could strike up conversation randomly and lead someone to Jesus. I don't think that's my calling, my gifting. I think my heart is for children. I think my heart is for those who are broken. My heart is for those like Jorge, who came for a cup of soup on Tuesday and really just needed someone to listen and sympathize with his life story - how his parents beat him, his brothers rejected him, he never had a family to call his own. This is the kind of ministry I can do. This is the kind of evangelism I can do. This is the kind of life I can live. Jesus Christ through me, reaching out to others.
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